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I need to hold on to memories and photographs. It hits a hard spot each time I look at anything from the SUSI program. However, I do it anyway. The way I see it, apart from making me cry, doing this makes me happy at the same time. Talk about bittersweet. Sometimes I convince myself (whether or not rightfully) that it's better to feel intensely (even sad emotions) than not feel and be dull around the house.
Now, from the latest lessening contact with co-alumni, I think it's safe to say that most of us still can't think about SUSI without feeling a STRONG pining for everything we finished and left behind. You know, I worry that 5 years for now, I'll still be missing SUSI SO BAD. I mean, it's normal to always miss it even 10 years from now. Heck that's probably inevitable, but to miss it SO BAD for that long? Do I linger to unhealthy extents? I admit I've had poor demonstrations or even ATTEMPTS at moving on. Even with jokes, I laugh the longest. I'd even pause for a good 2 minutes and then start laughing again. That's beside the point though.
Here's the end of it: It hurts, but I need the pictures and articles. I need to look back 'cause how bad it stings is always simultaneously how happy it makes me.
